How to respond to a dick pic

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You head over to a family gathering excited to see some relatives and eat good food.  ESPECIALLY the macaroni.

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As soon as you get to the gathering your little cousin asks the question that little cousins always ask.

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Handing them your phone you excitedly head over to the kitchen to see what kind of food everyone brought.  In the kitchen you hear a startled yelp coming from the designated kids area and the pitter patter associated with a child hurriedly walking.  The pitter patters source is your younger cousin whom you gave your phone to play games.  They loudly whisper that someone has sent you a picture of their “privates” and hold the phone up to your face to see.

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Staring back at you is a big fat “eggplant”.  Or a small “eggplant”.

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After your initial embarrassment you are tasked with formulating a response to the picture.  How do you respond?  Some options on how are to follow:

  1. Respond with a picture of a cold drink

You probably are sooooo hot and ready after viewing that sweet eggplant.

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Cool your Little Caesars pizza hot and ready self down with a cool drink.  While hydrating make sure to snap a photo to send to your unsolicited eggplant pic sending “friend”.

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2. Respond with an honest rating

This is easy, just rate it on a 10 point scale and send it to them.

3. Respond with a picture of a cat

They sent you a picture of their d!@#, so it’s polite to send a picture of your pussy.

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If you don’t have one the internet is full of pictures of cute pussies you can use!

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3. Respond sarcastically

A sarcastic remark like “Awww, I love unsolicited eggplant pictures!” or “Yay I’m going to f$%@ this phone and imagine its your eggplant” show your sense of humor and are a nice-nasty way to say “…no”.

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4. Don’t respond

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Perhaps the simplest response of all time, nothing.

5. Respond with an inspirational message

This person obviously has psychological issues if their just randomly sending nude pictures online.

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So send something to inspire them and hopefully ease their inner pain.

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7. Respond with another “eggplant picture”

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8. Respond with a request to be financially compensated for the viewing

They can’t get the pleasure of showing you the eggplant for  FREE. No, they should have to pay, and you should suggest payment.

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N word usage not condoned

9. Respond without regard for the picture

Simply continue your previous conversation or begin a new one.  This will ultimately lead to them  asking whether or not you received the eggplant picture to which you can respond honestly.

10. Be honest

Just be real.  If you like being surprised with a good old picture of an eggplant say so, if you do not then express it.  If you do not directly say that you do not like unsolicited eggplant pictures it will be assumed that you do like it and will continue.

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